My Reality
by onewritergirl93
Summary: Something was bothering Alex. Bobby was determined to find out what. Set after Frame.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Something was bothering Alex. Bobby had learned to read her like a book over the past nine years. Although at times he could be as clueless as any other guy and not catch on until after she blew up at him. But usually he was pretty good at recognizing even her most subtle changes in behavior, especially since they began dating a few months before. Now it was like reading a beloved favorite - one you could read a million times and still love it more and learn something new each time. Yes, he could read her, and something was definitely wrong.

Lately, she had left work right after 6, with a quick goodbye and she was gone. When they first started dating, they spent every evening together after work, making up for lost time in a way. But it had been a week since their last "real" date. Of course, they were together constantly during the day, but Bobby loved those stress free moments with just the two of them. He thought she enjoyed them too. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe she had finally grown tired of his quirks and had decided she could only take so much at work - forget about volunteering her free time.

Bobby stopped himself. Alex had been trying to break him of his self destructive way of thinking, especially since Frank and Nicole had been murdered, at the beginning of their romantic relationship. But he couldn't help but feel to blame. Alex told him it was out of his control, and he was in no way at fault, along with countless other things that has weighed on his conscience for too many years. He was finally learning to lean on her, and here he was undoing all her hard work, like always. He sighed. They obviously had a ways to go. Alex would tell him if he had done something wrong, right? 'Only one way to find out', he reasoned, as he went in search of his partner before she could get too far.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Alex couldn't bring herself to drive away. As long as she sat here in the parking garage of 1PP, she would be closer to Bobby, at least physically. She wasn't sure why she thought that might help things, but right now it was the only comfort she had from the racing thoughts in her head.

'He can't. He wouldn't, would he? He'd tell me, right? No, of course he wouldn't. He's too good of a man to tell me.'

She heard the passenger side door open and whirled around to find the focus of her thoughts climbing into the seat beside her. She hadn't' heard or seen him coming, and that thought alone scared her. Normally, they had a sort of sixth send of when the other was near. But this time, nothing. Were they losing the...whatever it was they had together? After finally finding each other in this new, special way? She couldn't think about it, it hurt so bad.

"Drive." Bobby whispered the command, but it was command nonetheless.

Alex turned the key and drove out of the garage into the sunlight. She turned right, heading away from her house. She didn't know where she was going - with the car, or the man beside her, but they were about to find out.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

They ended up at the Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Reservoir. Definitely not where she expected to go. She had walked the distance around the lake once with her father when she was little, and had always wanted go back, but hadn't gotten around to it. She remembered thinking recently it would make a great date with Bobby, but it had never been more than a passing thought. But they were here, so it was as good a time as any, she guessed.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, admiring the beautiful water rippling in the wind and reflecting the city skyline, both lost in their own thoughts. Alex was still clearly upset, but just as clearly trying to hide it. Bobby was busy trying to find a way to ask her why. Finally he gave up and said it plainly.

"Sweetheart..." He said softly and waited for her to meet his gaze. "What is it?"

"What is what?" Alex asked, feigning innocence. He gave her a wry smile. She wasn't as tricky as she thought.

"You know what. What's wrong? Why are you so distant lately? Did I do something? Please, just tell me." His speech became faster as he went on, growing almost desperate.

She felt awful, but she knew he wouldn't take it well if he knew. He would reassure her, tell her it wasn't true. But she saw it happen. She knew, deep down. Didn't she? No matter how it would hurt, she knew she had to get it over with. She breathed deeply, stared at the ground, then at her fingers playing with the buttons on Bobby's shirt, then back to ground. And she just said it.

"Did you love her?" She said quietly and held her breath.

Bobby was seriously confused. What was she talking about? More specifically, who was she talking about? He had only ever loved her. She knew that. Right?

"Alex, I don't...I have no..." he stuttered.

"Nicole. Nicole Wallace, Bobby." She snapped and her head came up, her tear filled eyes meeting his gaze for a second before returning to the ground.

Bobby was silent, and in that moment all her worst fears came true. Her hand dropped from his chest and she hugged herself tightly, trying to shield herself from the pain to no avail.

He froze at the sound of her name on Alex's lips. He had blocked it out of his mind for the past five months, but now all the emotions it brought with it came flooding back in. Anger, hatred, disgust, pity and...'And what Bobby?' He didn't know what the other emotion was. It felt almost like... almost admiration. Or something like it. No, it couldn't be. He looked at his partner, greatly disturbed by the tears running down her cheeks and her hazel eyes looking desperately at anything but him. The strongest woman he knew was in tears over him. And that's when all the thoughts were chased away, and he knew. He had always known. He tilted her chin up so she had to look him in the eye. His thumb wiped away a tear and he smiled softly.

"I think..." he began, "I think maybe I loved the idea of Nicole...But, um, not the psycho killer part." She gave a smile that didn't reach her eyes. " I think I was attracted to her intellectually...she was someone I could have had very...interesting discussions with. She was a mystery. And you know how I like a good mystery." She tried to smile again. He sighed and continued. "Maybe, if things had been completely different - if, in some horrible alternate universe where she wasn't nuts and you weren't there - I could have come to love her. Maybe." He stopped when her chin quivered. His fingers trailed over her cheek and he finished his speech.

"But Alex, this is real life. And in real life, Nicole is psychotic. In real life, she killed my family." His voice broke, but he went on. "And, in real life, I fell in love with you. And that's so much better than any other possibility, no matter the bad things in real life. Alex, you are my reality." He kissed her then, gently and with so much love that more tears, of joy this time, fell down her cheeks. Because she knew exactly what he meant. He didn't mean that he had to settle for her, because his dreams couldn't come true. He meant that she was his lifeline, his connection with the world. His reason for hanging on. His shelter. His sanity. His anchor. She was his reality.


End file.
